I was in Chicago last weekend visiting some friends. They’re an amazing group of women that I have accumulated through my life - some who I had met previously and some who I was meeting in real life for the first time. It was a great time. We ate over the top meals and laughed and drank and shopped and got sunburnt and laughed some more.
When it was time for me to head to the airport my friend Lisa waited with me until I found a cab, then we hugged goodbye and I got in.
When I said I was going to O’Hare the cab driver said that was strange because no one in the area I was in goes to the airport - it was apparently not a tourist destination. I replied that, well my friend lived in this neighborhood and she lives by a really great authentic mexican restaurant that she wanted me to try before leaving. Then the conversation turned into this:
Him: Your friend, huh?
Me: Yep! Just visiting some friends!
Him: Did you go to the (gay pride) parade?
Me: Oh no, I didn’t make it, too worried about getting back to the airport on time
Him: But you just stayed with girls the whole time you were here?
Me: What? Yes, I was visiting friends.
Him: No boy friends?
Me: No, the friends I was visiting were all women.
Him: You don’t like boys?
Me: What? That’s not.. I didn’t say that, I just happened to be visiting female friends.
Him: But didn’t you go out? If you are in Chicago you should sample the local flavors.
Him: Oh look at you, you’re like, “Who is this guy asking me if I had sex while i was here!”
Me: I don’t know what you want me to say…
I start to pop a piece of gum out of a Dentyne gum pack and he looks back because of the noise
Now that I’m older and I still know all the words to Salt and Peppa’s hits and know what they’re actually saying it really makes me wonder what the grown ups around me were doing when they weren’t paying attention to a 9 year old singing about how much she wants to shoop.
So the director, Michelle Fairley, and Richard Maddon do the audio for “The Rains of Castamere” obviously. Michelle Fairley hadn’t seen the episode so when she recorded the audio commentary, it was her first time seeing it. (Christ!) And at the last minute or two, everyone goes silent….
Knock-knock, beats the hand at her door. The girl sighs and remains seated on the couch. It is Saturday night, her roommates are out, and she wants only to slurp reheated ramen while watching Buffy battle hell-demons on Netflix. She is alone, but she is not lonely. The knocking continues. Buffy roundhouse kicks a vampire in the chin. Still, the girl does not rise; she simply shifts her weight from one couch cushion to the next. As Buffy is in mid-jump, arm raised, stake poised above the vampire’s chest, the girl pauses the screen and moves towards the kitchen. She is placing her bowl of ramen in the microwave when the knocking starts again. “Who’s there?” she finally calls. But the knocker does not seem to hear her, no reply comes. The microwave beeps hurriedly, and she returns to the couch. Buffy stakes the vampire, his body quickly reduces to dust. The sound of footsteps dissolve down the hallway, away from the girl’s apartment, and the knocking stops. She does not wonder about it again. Doesn’t even think to mention it the next morning when her roommate asks her about her night.
Guys, I feel really really strongly about Broad City - like, texting my friends all caps messages in the middle of a beautiful Sunday like, “STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH BROAD CITY RIGHT NOW IT IS THE BEST!!!!” (insert high-five white girl with bangs emoji) strongly.